QUOTES FROM THE LOONEY BIN
"I'm a lesbian" ~ A man patient~
"Captain Jones wants me to call mission control, you've got to let me go they need me"
~ A man patient~
"You've got to rescue me, their holding me against my will"
~Note given to pizza delivery boy by a man patient~
Man patient: You got a girl?
Me: No
Man patient: You got a dog?
Me: No
Man patient: A cat????
Me: No
(pause to allow man patient to come up with the next logical question)
Man Patient: You got roaches???????
Me: Possibly, but I dont think so
Man Patient: Man you really are worse of than I am (Man patient walks off)
Me: (Left baffled and wondering how I'm gonna get my self-esteem back)
Me: Hey your slips showing
Man patient: Oh no (reaches down to frantically pull down jeans to cover up visual hallucination)
Man Patient: Hey I've got Diarrea wanna buy some.
Me: What would I use it for
Man patient: You could use it as gravy for your rice
Me: Thats disgusting
Man patient: Alright then you can buy a lump for fifty cents a pound. ( salesman voice)
"I'm a lesbian" ~ A man patient~
"Captain Jones wants me to call mission control, you've got to let me go they need me"
~ A man patient~
"You've got to rescue me, their holding me against my will"
~Note given to pizza delivery boy by a man patient~
Man patient: You got a girl?
Me: No
Man patient: You got a dog?
Me: No
Man patient: A cat????
Me: No
(pause to allow man patient to come up with the next logical question)
Man Patient: You got roaches???????
Me: Possibly, but I dont think so
Man Patient: Man you really are worse of than I am (Man patient walks off)
Me: (Left baffled and wondering how I'm gonna get my self-esteem back)
Me: Hey your slips showing
Man patient: Oh no (reaches down to frantically pull down jeans to cover up visual hallucination)
Man Patient: Hey I've got Diarrea wanna buy some.
Me: What would I use it for
Man patient: You could use it as gravy for your rice
Me: Thats disgusting
Man patient: Alright then you can buy a lump for fifty cents a pound. ( salesman voice)
Labels: QUOTES
4 Comments:
so the question now is... did you buy the poop? sounds like a good deal!
WHAT a comment...what do I do?? what do I do?? Well yes I did take him up on this fantastic offer, but I was too cheap to pay in a LUMP sum, so he's got me on a payment plan.
I don't know how to do it Jer. Don't worry, we all suffer from some level of insanity!
Jeremy. Now thems are some good times. Keep the quotes coming.
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