THERES SOMETHING ABOUT MARY
"The shopping cart dream"
A week or two ago I had a dream about Mary Webster. I publish it to the world in the name of humor, but please dont analyze it , I dont want to know.
It was the year of our Lord 2007, the sun was mad hot and I was driving through the mall parking lot looking for the exit, when I saw her, the Mary Webster. I sidled up to the curb in my plush blue tin can of a car, reached over to roll down the window, accidentally laid on the horn and asked her if she needed a ride.
Mary : Yeah Jer, actually I'm going to the supermarket, that would be great.
Jeremy : Ok hop on in.
We proceeded to drive to the supermarket five minutes away and enroute engaged in conversation about life, love, and the opposite sex. In two shakes of a lambs bottom we were at the market and fully engaged in deep discussion. We parked and continued to converse in the baking sun, with no AC the effects were beginning to take their toll, so I came up with a brilliant idea. No...........it wasn't go in to the supermarket, both get our shopping done and be in the AC.
Me: Mary its hot.
Mary: Yes
Me: I have an idea.
Mary: Really
Me: Let s go sit in that shopping cart on the sidewalk in front of the supermarket, it'll be cooler out there, and we can finish this conversation.
Mary: Oh what a lovely idea.
Like a true gentleman I held her hand while she gracefully climbed into the shopping cart, and then started thinking about how I would get in without it rolling away. Luckily there was a kindly old homeless man nearby, who totally came to the rescue. His long white hair was matted to his face, and his eyes twinkled with kindly wisdom suggesting he may be a sage of sorts. It was intimidating to approach him, I feared he may laugh at my clever idea, but I needed his help so boldly I went forth.
Me: Sir, would you be kind enough as to hold this shopping cart while I get in.
Gandolf-like homeless guy: Of course.
Me: Thank you, very kind.
so there you have it me climbing into a shopping cart sweating like a frolicking pig, trying not to kick Mary in the face while I maneuveur myself to be sitting cross-legged across from her..........(did I mention we were in a shopping cart) discussing the deeper things of life in the sweltering sun.
Like I said please dont analyze it or jump to any rash judgements regarding my mental state.
"The shopping cart dream"
A week or two ago I had a dream about Mary Webster. I publish it to the world in the name of humor, but please dont analyze it , I dont want to know.
It was the year of our Lord 2007, the sun was mad hot and I was driving through the mall parking lot looking for the exit, when I saw her, the Mary Webster. I sidled up to the curb in my plush blue tin can of a car, reached over to roll down the window, accidentally laid on the horn and asked her if she needed a ride.
Mary : Yeah Jer, actually I'm going to the supermarket, that would be great.
Jeremy : Ok hop on in.
We proceeded to drive to the supermarket five minutes away and enroute engaged in conversation about life, love, and the opposite sex. In two shakes of a lambs bottom we were at the market and fully engaged in deep discussion. We parked and continued to converse in the baking sun, with no AC the effects were beginning to take their toll, so I came up with a brilliant idea. No...........it wasn't go in to the supermarket, both get our shopping done and be in the AC.
Me: Mary its hot.
Mary: Yes
Me: I have an idea.
Mary: Really
Me: Let s go sit in that shopping cart on the sidewalk in front of the supermarket, it'll be cooler out there, and we can finish this conversation.
Mary: Oh what a lovely idea.
Like a true gentleman I held her hand while she gracefully climbed into the shopping cart, and then started thinking about how I would get in without it rolling away. Luckily there was a kindly old homeless man nearby, who totally came to the rescue. His long white hair was matted to his face, and his eyes twinkled with kindly wisdom suggesting he may be a sage of sorts. It was intimidating to approach him, I feared he may laugh at my clever idea, but I needed his help so boldly I went forth.
Me: Sir, would you be kind enough as to hold this shopping cart while I get in.
Gandolf-like homeless guy: Of course.
Me: Thank you, very kind.
so there you have it me climbing into a shopping cart sweating like a frolicking pig, trying not to kick Mary in the face while I maneuveur myself to be sitting cross-legged across from her..........(did I mention we were in a shopping cart) discussing the deeper things of life in the sweltering sun.
Like I said please dont analyze it or jump to any rash judgements regarding my mental state.
posted by Jer at 4:55 PM
2 Comments:
hate to break it to you jer, but that wasn't a dream... remember?
the cops finally came and told you two crazies to get out of the store's property and then the homeless dude ran off with mary's purse... it was such a mess.
funny how it's easy for us to convince ourselves that bad days like that are actually dreams!
Shhhh..........What have I told you about my reality therapy sessions. There mine not the worlds. GOSH dont publish them. LOL you are the funniest the world is lucky to have you to put smiles on faces.
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