THE LORD ASKS LONELINESS OF US
Why am I blogging? Well I sat to vent, but I will be grateful, because I see the blessings. I love the quote, " where there's shadows there's sunshine" I have been feeling sorry for myself, undeserving of the difficut feelings that deep down I know have been placed by the master of lies. Yet I wonder of how undeserving of the pride I am, it is humbling to have to acknowledge the power I have there. It is the root of much emotional turmoil, even service is not satisfying, there is still deep down the expectation of something in return, emotional inteligence tells me that is contradictory. So therein lies the battle that rages in the silent chambers of the heart. As for loneliness I remind myself that even Christ was left alone at the most difficult of times, and I am grateful for the person that has continually reminded me of that, it is the Lords way of testing my faith, life will never run out of hurdles, if we dont place them oursleves then the Lord and Satan will make sure to fill in the gaps. Everything is for our growth, what a beautiful and comforting quote, upon which I am heavily leaining. I hope no one minds the serious nature of this blog, I admire the honesty of others who have blogged you are an example to me and help me to share more openly my feelings. You have blogged things that are difficult and I admire that, but those are the blogs that give me courage to open up the old heart and feel the relief that comes from sharing. Please excuse the onslaught of fun-on sentences, you can blame my mother, who feels as though every breath is her last and therefore must speak everything before the respiratory cycle has come full circle, and then what happens... well she takes another breath.
Why am I blogging? Well I sat to vent, but I will be grateful, because I see the blessings. I love the quote, " where there's shadows there's sunshine" I have been feeling sorry for myself, undeserving of the difficut feelings that deep down I know have been placed by the master of lies. Yet I wonder of how undeserving of the pride I am, it is humbling to have to acknowledge the power I have there. It is the root of much emotional turmoil, even service is not satisfying, there is still deep down the expectation of something in return, emotional inteligence tells me that is contradictory. So therein lies the battle that rages in the silent chambers of the heart. As for loneliness I remind myself that even Christ was left alone at the most difficult of times, and I am grateful for the person that has continually reminded me of that, it is the Lords way of testing my faith, life will never run out of hurdles, if we dont place them oursleves then the Lord and Satan will make sure to fill in the gaps. Everything is for our growth, what a beautiful and comforting quote, upon which I am heavily leaining. I hope no one minds the serious nature of this blog, I admire the honesty of others who have blogged you are an example to me and help me to share more openly my feelings. You have blogged things that are difficult and I admire that, but those are the blogs that give me courage to open up the old heart and feel the relief that comes from sharing. Please excuse the onslaught of fun-on sentences, you can blame my mother, who feels as though every breath is her last and therefore must speak everything before the respiratory cycle has come full circle, and then what happens... well she takes another breath.
posted by Jer at 9:09 AM
3 Comments:
is it really the lord that is asking lonliness of us, or do we choose it? just food for thought.
your mom rocks! love those run-ons.
by the way, your "pig nose" keeps coming into my head and i pee my pants every time!
Its not run-ons its fun-ons. Yes, at times we choose it good insight. Yet at the same time I wonder if he doesn't just leave us alone to see how strong our heart is and to make it stronger, I think he wants to see what we will do with our free agency and when we are feeling solo it requires us to dig deeper than if we felt the constant companionship. I guess it causes us to work. Like when parents leave the baby to cry itself to sleep instead of always being there when it does cry, it discourages co-dependence. Sorry about the rambling, I have just experienced tremendous growth from times of feeling alone, I agree with you, that we choose whether or not we are with people or not, and a lot of mine has stemmed from choosing to spend time alone over with others, and that has been a downfall for me. Thanks for making me think ;) Ur great
Shout to the pig noses
I dig this post. Opening ourselves up is scary but I guess necessary... we see what really lies within. Yikes. :)
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