Hi world, I have been naughty, I haven't blogged for forever. I am getting reports that my blog is no longer checked, this is sad. I have no idea how I am going to catch up, there has been so much happening. So the most prominent life lessons from this time away have been;
1. I have learned to trust the spirit and more willingly let the Lord guide my actions and not to question his call although I may not understand it. In doing so I realize I have all the answers to life's questions inside my heart,as long as I am willing to obey the spirit.
2. I have learned to sit with rather than run from difficult feelings. As I do this I find they teach me and drive me in a direction that is good as long as I dont run from them.
3. I am learning to find joy in the fortunes of others instead of focusing on what I don't have.
4. I have developed a kinship to Hannah in the bible. I realate to her experience of mourning over what she couldn't have, wondering why others were allowed to have the blessings she wanted, but not her. Only to realize as she was being prepared to receive the same great blessings, but needed to be prepared spiritually to fulfill her great mission. Her example brings peace in the knowledge that all I need to do is turn to the Lord in all my dealings and wait, knowing that I am not forgotten and the Lord is waiting for me to be ready for lifes further missions and blessings.

THE LORD ASKS LONELINESS OF US

Why am I blogging? Well I sat to vent, but I will be grateful, because I see the blessings. I love the quote, " where there's shadows there's sunshine" I have been feeling sorry for myself, undeserving of the difficut feelings that deep down I know have been placed by the master of lies. Yet I wonder of how undeserving of the pride I am, it is humbling to have to acknowledge the power I have there. It is the root of much emotional turmoil, even service is not satisfying, there is still deep down the expectation of something in return, emotional inteligence tells me that is contradictory. So therein lies the battle that rages in the silent chambers of the heart. As for loneliness I remind myself that even Christ was left alone at the most difficult of times, and I am grateful for the person that has continually reminded me of that, it is the Lords way of testing my faith, life will never run out of hurdles, if we dont place them oursleves then the Lord and Satan will make sure to fill in the gaps. Everything is for our growth, what a beautiful and comforting quote, upon which I am heavily leaining. I hope no one minds the serious nature of this blog, I admire the honesty of others who have blogged you are an example to me and help me to share more openly my feelings. You have blogged things that are difficult and I admire that, but those are the blogs that give me courage to open up the old heart and feel the relief that comes from sharing. Please excuse the onslaught of fun-on sentences, you can blame my mother, who feels as though every breath is her last and therefore must speak everything before the respiratory cycle has come full circle, and then what happens... well she takes another breath.

A lot of the time the strengths we perceive in ourselves are indeed our weaknesses. I have often prided myself in my honesty, in fact have been curiously proud about this trait, but I wonder how honest I have been with myself. I look back and I have been honest at the most difficult of times and rendered myself completely vulnerable due to brutal honesty. Yet I question my level of self-honesty, it has harmed friendships and teriffies me. I sit here after giving council to a patient to continue talking about her feelings, and now I sit here thinking to myself HYPOCRITE!!!!!!!................Jer you're a bit of a crit. Honestly I don't share feelings well, and then wonder why I feel so much of the time disconnected. Even when my life is fairly well-aligned with that of my heavenly dad, I still have strong bouts of disconnectedness. I look at the lives of those I frequently come in contact with and am jealous, jealous of friendships, connections and wonder or fool myself into believing that I dont have those. I wonder if I can't recognize them and am realize that I may encroach upon sabotaging the ones that I do have, like a self-fulfilling prophecy. When a friendship occurs, it becomes strange and unnatural so I excuse it away, wow this has been enlightening. Thanks for hearing me out bloggin world, I am facing hard realities and you know what its fun. Embrace the challenge and its fun.

THERES SOMETHING ABOUT MARY

"The shopping cart dream"


A week or two ago I had a dream about Mary Webster. I publish it to the world in the name of humor, but please dont analyze it , I dont want to know.

It was the year of our Lord 2007, the sun was mad hot and I was driving through the mall parking lot looking for the exit, when I saw her, the Mary Webster. I sidled up to the curb in my plush blue tin can of a car, reached over to roll down the window, accidentally laid on the horn and asked her if she needed a ride.

Mary : Yeah Jer, actually I'm going to the supermarket, that would be great.
Jeremy : Ok hop on in.

We proceeded to drive to the supermarket five minutes away and enroute engaged in conversation about life, love, and the opposite sex. In two shakes of a lambs bottom we were at the market and fully engaged in deep discussion. We parked and continued to converse in the baking sun, with no AC the effects were beginning to take their toll, so I came up with a brilliant idea. No...........it wasn't go in to the supermarket, both get our shopping done and be in the AC.


Me: Mary its hot.
Mary: Yes
Me: I have an idea.
Mary: Really
Me: Let s go sit in that shopping cart on the sidewalk in front of the supermarket, it'll be cooler out there, and we can finish this conversation.
Mary: Oh what a lovely idea.

Like a true gentleman I held her hand while she gracefully climbed into the shopping cart, and then started thinking about how I would get in without it rolling away. Luckily there was a kindly old homeless man nearby, who totally came to the rescue. His long white hair was matted to his face, and his eyes twinkled with kindly wisdom suggesting he may be a sage of sorts. It was intimidating to approach him, I feared he may laugh at my clever idea, but I needed his help so boldly I went forth.

Me: Sir, would you be kind enough as to hold this shopping cart while I get in.
Gandolf-like homeless guy: Of course.
Me: Thank you, very kind.

so there you have it me climbing into a shopping cart sweating like a frolicking pig, trying not to kick Mary in the face while I maneuveur myself to be sitting cross-legged across from her..........(did I mention we were in a shopping cart) discussing the deeper things of life in the sweltering sun.

Like I said please dont analyze it or jump to any rash judgements regarding my mental state.

QUOTES FROM THE LOONEY BIN

"I'm a lesbian" ~ A man patient~

"Captain Jones wants me to call mission control, you've got to let me go they need me"
~ A man patient~

"You've got to rescue me, their holding me against my will"
~Note given to pizza delivery boy by a man patient~



Man patient: You got a girl?
Me: No
Man patient: You got a dog?
Me: No
Man patient: A cat????
Me: No
(pause to allow man patient to come up with the next logical question)
Man Patient: You got roaches???????
Me: Possibly, but I dont think so
Man Patient: Man you really are worse of than I am (Man patient walks off)
Me: (Left baffled and wondering how I'm gonna get my self-esteem back)


Me: Hey your slips showing
Man patient: Oh no (reaches down to frantically pull down jeans to cover up visual hallucination)


Man Patient: Hey I've got Diarrea wanna buy some.
Me: What would I use it for
Man patient: You could use it as gravy for your rice
Me: Thats disgusting
Man patient: Alright then you can buy a lump for fifty cents a pound. ( salesman voice)

HELP!!!!

Can someone be merciful and show, tell, sign, somehow communicate to poor puter illiterate me how to make my title look different from the main text. Capitals just dont cut it anymore >

CONLUSION OF THE DRAGON AND THE KINGS SON.

One cold, moonless night their excursion became a foray against a sleeping village. Torching the thatched roofs with fiery blasts from his nostrils, the dragon roared with delight when the terrified victims fled from their burning homes. Swooping in, the serpent belched again and flames engulfed a cluster of screaming villagers. The prince closed his eyes tightly in order to shut out the carnage.
In the predawn hours, when the prince crept back from his dragon trysts, the road outside his father's castle usually remained empty. But not tonight. Terrified refugees streamed into the protective walls of the castle. The prince attempted to slip through the crowd to close himself in his chambers, but some of the survivors stared and pointed toward him.
"He was there," one woman cried out,"I saw him on the back of the dragon." Others nodded their heads in angry agreement. Horrified, the prince saw that his father , the King, was in the courtyard holding a bleeding child in his arms. The King's face mirrored the agony of his people as his eyes found the prince's. The son fled, hoping to escape into the night, but the guards apprehended him as if he were a common thief. They brought him to the great hall where his father sat solemnly on the throne. The people on every side railed against the prince.
"Banish him!" he heard one of his own brothers angrily cry out.
"Burn him alive!" other voices shouted.
As the King rose from his throne, blodstains from the wounded shone darkly on his royal robes. The crowd fell silent in expectation of his decree. The prince, who could not bear to look into his father's face, stared at the flagstones of the floor.
"Take off your gloves and your tunic," the King commanded. The prince obeyed slowly, dreading to have his metamorphosis uncovered before the kingdom. Was his shame not already enough? He had hoped for a quick death without further humiliation. Sounds of revulsion rippled through the crowd at the sight of the prince's thick, scaled skin and the ridge growing along his spine.
The King strode toward his son, and the prince steeled himself, fully expecting a back-handed blow even though he had never been struck so by his father.
Instead, his father embraced him and wept as he held him tightly. In shocked dibelief, the prince buried his face against his father's shoulder.
"Do you wish to be freed from the dragon, my son?"
The prince answered in despair, "I wished it many times, but there is no hope for me."
"Not alone," said the King. "You cannot win against the serpent alone."
"Father, I am no longer your son. I am half beast," sobbed the prince.
But his father replied, "My blood runs in your veins. My nobility has always been stamped deep within your soul."
With his face still hidden tearfully in his father's embrace, the prince heard the King instruct the crowd, "The dragon is crafty. Some fall victim to his wiles and some to his violence. There will be mercy to all who wish to be freed. Who else among you has ridden the dragon?"
The prince lifted his head to see someone emerge from the crowd. To his amazement, he recognized an older brother, one who had been lauded throughout the kingdom for his onslaughts against the dragon in battle and for his many good deeds. Others came, some weeping, others hanging their heads in shame.
The King embraced them all.
"This is our most powerful weapon against the dragon," he announced. "Truth. No more hidden flights. Alone we cannot resist him."

So their it is the parable of the dragon and the King's son. I shall leave it up to personal interpretation, but I share it because to me it contains much wisdom, I hope some of you if not all can benefit from its strength.